Dodge County from space

Here's a story from above the Polar Circle:

I am involved in a voluntary home defense pilot group in the northern part of Sweden. We only fly Cessnas and Pipers on a regular basis, and our pilots are mainly bush pilots, not accustomed to using the radio often. During a training weekend at a controlled airport, we had a landing session, with five or six aircraft in the circuit, and the guy in the tower has a busy time keeping us all sorted out. We then heard the following exchange over the radio:

Tower:

"Sierra Echo XXX, state your position."

SE XXX:

"Aeum ... I'm behind the one in front of me!"

More...

SHORT FINAL

Overheard in IFR Magazine's "On the Air"

While cruising at flight level, we heard the following between an American Airlines airliner and Miami Center:

Airliner:

"Center, American XXXX looking for higher."

Miami Center (female voice):

"Didn't hear you check in."

Airliner:

"First time I've heard your voice. I must've forgotten."

Miami Center

"That happens when you're over twenty-six or -seven."

Airliner:

"I hope you're talking thousands of feet."

Center:

"No. Age.

"Sorry."

SHORT FINAL

Overheard in IFR Magazine's "On the Air"

Flying into New Orleans Lakefront, and approach had switched us over to tower. One controller worked both ground and tower frequencies. There was minimal radio chatter with other aircraft but what was there was worth hearing:

Tower:

"Cessna XXX, for future reference, the one with the yellow line down the center is a taxiway, and the one with the white line is a runway."

SHORT FINAL

Overheard in IFR Magazine's "On the Air"

Heard at Gainesville, Florida Airport:

Cessna:

"Gainesville Tower, Cessna XXXXX, seven west with Tango."

Tower:

"Cessna XXXXX, cleared to land, Runway Six."

Cessna:

"We'd prefer Runway One Zero. We have some passengers to drop off at the terminal."

Tower:

"Cessna XXXXX, you can't do that. You have to use the general aviation FBO."

Cessna:

"We called ahead, and they said we could drop them off as long as we stayed clear of the gate."

Tower:

"I don't know who told you that, but I'll ask the airport manager."

Later ...

Tower:

"Cessna XXXXX. I'm sorry, but you can't taxi to the terminal. However, if you'd like, I can clear you for a low approach, and your passengers can jump out as vou fly by."

Cessna (laughing):

"How about I just use Runway Six?"

More...

SHORT FINAL

While I was on short final into KFHU (Fort Huachuca, Sierra Vista Arizona):

Shadow-1:

"Shadow-1 at runway 26, ready to take off."

Tower:

"Shadow-1, hold short for landing traffic."

I then looked over at the holding aircraft and noticed that it was a Military UAV, an Unmanned Aerial Vehicle. This being the first one I'd ever seen, I struggled between landing my plane and looking at the UAV. Landing the plane finally caught my attention.

After landing, while on rollout, I overheard:

NXXXXX:

"Tower, was that an unmanned airplane I just passed?"

Tower:

"NXXXXX: Yes, it was."

Shadow-1:

"There is actually a man sitting somewhere ... ."

More...

SHORT FINAL

Overheard in IFR Magazine's "On the Air"

Some years ago at Des Moines, Iowa, I was holding in the run-up area when I heard the tower call an airliner:

Tower:

"Airliner 1234, cleared for takeoff. Runway 30 right."

Airliner:

"Tower, we're still waiting for our numbers."

Tower:

"Roger, Airliner 1234. Cancel departure clearance; hold short of the runway."

Airliner:

"Airliner 1234, holding short."/p>

Several seconds later, the pilot's voice came over the frequency, sounding both apologetic and put out:

Airliner Captain:

"Ladies and gentlemen, we're experiencing an air traffic control delay, but we should be on our way shortly, as soon as the tower releases us."

[pause]

Tower:

"Nice speech, Captain, but ATC is not delaying you. Suggest you misinform the passengers on the PA, not my frequency."

More...

SHORT FINAL

Overheard in IFR Magazine's "On the Air"

Heard this somewhere over Kansas:

Center:

"Airline 312, traffic. Eleven o'clock, three miles, FL 310 Citation, westbound."

Airline 312:

"We got `em on the pig finder."

N700AN:

"Kansas City Center, Cheyenne Zero Alpha November. Request."

Center:

"Go ahead."

N700AN:

"Was that a 'Papa-India-Golf finder'?"

ATC:

"It's a TCAS."

Anonymous Voice:

"That's called a 'Foxtrot-India-Sierra-Hotel finder.'"

Airline 312:

"Yeah, but we're over Kansas."

More...